Have you ever heard of ghosting? This term refers to a harmful behavior in relationships in which one of the people involved, without warning and without a goodbye, disappears completely from the life of the other person. From one moment to the next, that person stops answering calls and messages and blocks you on their social networks, completely breaking contact.
This breakdown in communication and in the relationship usually generates concern in the victim, as they think that something bad has happened to the other person while also creating the assumption that they, themselves, have done wrong to cause this behavior in the other person. However, what often motivates this behavior is that the victim loses interest in the other person and seeks to get out of their life without having to give an excuse.
What are the consequences of ghosting for the victim?
Although it is becoming more common and, at first glance, it seems not to be very serious, ghosting can have serious repercussions in the life of the person who suffers it. Here are the main consequences of this behavior on the victim.
Feeling of guilt. The fact that this breakup occurs when apparently everything is going well, generates feelings of guilt and constant questioning about which of their actions caused this behavior.
Need to find an explanation. Feeling violated, the person seeks to understand the reason for the breakup in order to protect themselves in the future. However, there is no coherent answer for this behavior.
Negatively affects self-esteem.
The person who suffers ghosting often feels that they were not “enough” for that person and that is the reason why they decided to end the relationship.
Feeling of humiliation. Writing to that person, knowing that they read the message and that there is no response is often difficult to cope with and generates the feeling of not being worthy of an explanation.
The abandonment and rejection that result from ghosting not only cause deep pain but also reinforce people’s insecurities and fears.
6 Tips for Dealing with Ghosting
We are all exposed to suffer this type of situation in a relationship, because although we are sincere and consistent when we are starting to build an emotional bond with someone, not all people have the same values. It is important that you are aware of some things to be able to overcome this type of breakup.
Be aware of the risks. While the idea is not to live defensively with everyone we meet, it is important to be aware of the risks involved.
We are all exposed to suffer this type of situation in a relationship. Although we are sincere and consistent when we are starting to build an emotional bond with someone, not all people have the same values. It is important that you are aware of some things to be able to overcome this type of breakup.
Don’t question or judge yourself. Ghosting speaks more about the other person’s lack of affective responsibility and maturity than it does about yourself. Do not take on burdens that are not yours.
Surround yourself with people you trust. Seeking support from the special people in your life will always be the best option in difficult times.
Avoid contact. Checking that the other person is well and that it was his or her decision to disappear from your life can cause you a lot of pain. Therefore, it is important that you avoid, as much as possible, hearing from that person.
Accept the grief. Although human beings tend to resort to denial in situations that cause them pain, it is important that, despite the pain, you learn to accept the situation.
Keep in mind that it is not your fault. You must understand that you did not cause the breakup and that it is likely that the other person suffers from some kind of disorder that prevents them from being empathetic and respectful with other people.
Affective responsibility, empathy, and sincerity are essential at the time of a breakup. Being aware of what the other person may feel can help make a proper closure to a relationship when one of the parties does not feel the same connection.
You may also be interested in: Seven signs that indicate that you are in a healthy relationship
There is a person on the other side
Perhaps the high exposure to social networks and the intermediation of technology in communication makes us ignore at some point that, on the other side, there is also a person who feels. It is essential not to lose sight of the fact that our actions have repercussions on other people and that above the intention of avoiding difficult conversations and conflict situations, there must be respect for the other person and their feelings.
In the #YoDigoNoMas Movement, we invite you to practice affective responsibility to create strong and healthy bonds and avoid behaviors such as ghosting. Making room in our lives for abusive behaviors will undoubtedly lead us to hurt other people. Find tools on our website that can help you build healthy relationships and learn how you can join our movement.