Sandy Sola sexual abuse Survivor
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“I didn’t know how to tell my mommy, I didn’t know how to tell my daddy, I felt it was my fault” These were the words that Sandy used during the interview with María Trusa to define what she felt after being repeatedly abused by relatives and acquaintances. From the age of 4, adults used her as a sexual object, they did not take care of her and caused her suicidal impulses, she felt that all the pain that she was experiencing was her fault and she had no one to tell.
At age 12, Sandy confessed to her mother, Maria, that she had been sexually abused since she was 4 by members of her family. It was difficult for Maria to understand what her daughter told her, but she still chose to take Sandy’s word for it and consult with psychologists to support her in the process.
The first traumatic experience began when María’s brother, her 20-year-old uncle, took advantage of the fact that María had left the room and quickly put Sandy to bed, covered her face with a towel and performed oral sex on her. Sandy was only 4 years old, her body was immobilized and she did not understand what was happening, but she felt more confused the moment he put her clothes back on and acted in front of Maria as if nothing had happened.
When a person is a victim of abuse it is normal for their body to paralyze, this reaction is a warning signal sent by the brain to try to protect as many organs as possible in a dangerous situation.
These attitudes are also perceived in animals, they are paralyzed to persuade their aggressor to eat them. In humans, this reaction is accompanied by a sense of guilt and frustration, because survivors think they may have done something else to defend themselves.
In Sandy’s case, the sexual abuse did not stop there, years later other people abused her. On one occasion they entered Sandy’s room and touched her while she slept, this time in the dark she could not recognize the faces of the assailants, but they continued to stalk her and use her sexually as her object of amusement.
Sandy felt that she deserved everything that was happening to her, because she “had a mark that said: touch me, rape me, do whatever you want because I’m worthless.” She was not allowed to develop a happy childhood, since she was little she destroyed her trust, respect and self-love, she was really tired of living.
In childhood, children must be protected by the adults around them, but according to the SINC, in 80% of cases, the abusers are relatives or acquaintances. This figure shows that the case of Sandy is not an isolated event, the people who are closest to the children are the ones who can do them the most harm.
- These are some of the signs to detect when a minor is being abused
- Excessive concern for your safety
- Crying and feeling of constant sadness.
- Feel that the body is paralyzed
- Having frequent nightmares
- Difficulty sleeping, sleeping little, and / or falling asleep anywhere
- Difficult to focus
- Knowing about sexual issues you shouldn’t at your age.
- Failing grades or having a difficult time in school.
- Have stomach aches, headaches, and cramps
- Thinking or getting hurt.
- Experimenting with substances such as drugs or alcohol
Go to mental health professionals or people who can guide you if you recognize these signs in the minors in your charge.
Don’t turn your back on them, children need someone to trust. If you have a story that yo03u want to share about sexual abuse, the spaces of the movement #YoDigoNoMas are at your disposal. Your voice will never be silenced again. Upload your story